Asslaamualaikum ust,

Us children have all grown up, completed our degree and entered work life. Some have entered married life.

However, our dear mother would feel affected and upset by some of our personal decisions, by some of our actions. We provide for her needs, and do not engage in what isnt allowed in the religion. We like to think we are decent young adults thanks to her, alhamdulillah.

How can we advise or help her to realize to give us space and chance to grow? How can we help her manage her expectations and feelings to make her feel happy?

Waalaikumsalam

I can feel your frustration in dealing with something that beyond your control. it’s difficult to change people mindset except they are the one who want to change themselves.

What you may want to explore is to get third party help whether from your close relatives that she trusted or from counsellor that I doubt she will – she doesn’t think this is a problem.

On the other hand, you may want also to express your feeling via letter or WhatsApp message.

Or spend private time with her to treat her lunch. Just you and her. Begin the session with other things first that will make her feel at home and relax, before starting to talk about the issues.

You can start by thanking her and how much you love her with all the sacrifices for bringing you as a good daughter, wife and mother. Before you share with her what you feel and what you wish for from her.

That’s all I can think for now. Hope you can try this first and share to me later.

Give it a try and all the best!

#KaunselingUY #Abahyasir

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